by PlaguePJP
Jim Henson and The Muppets, c. 1976.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept in a secure, locked box situated within Site-322's media archive. Staff are invited to submit suggestions for testing, in writing, to the anomaly's research team.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Panasonic DP-UB820 DVD player. The object has been painted with Krylon brand spray paint, colour "Jungle Green", but retains full functionality. Text has been written on SCP-XXXX's casing with black marker. The beginning of the text is smudged and illegible, but the its latter half reads "…FIER".
When SCP-XXXX is connected to a television set and plays a DVD, the contents of the displayed media will be anomalously altered to include the Muppets. The anomalous effect varies based on the input media, but primarily takes the form of 1) characters being played by muppets instead of their original actor, and 2) alterations to the plot. The anomaly only effects live action1, fictional films with a theatrical release. Other media — such as documentaries, television series, animation, and news broadcasts — are unaffected.
Disney, The Jim Henson Company, and the wider muppet community have all denied knowledge of SCP-XXXX's existence.
Addendum XXXX.1: Notable Experiments
Note to Personnel: The following descriptions of SCP-XXXX experiments may contain spoilers for the affected films. Personnel are advised to examine a selection of SCP-XXXX instances where they are familiar with the non-anomalous version of the film, before proceeding to Addendum XXXX.2. Personnel are not expected to read each entry within Addendum 1 before proceeding to Addendum 2:
Notable Cast Differences:
- All Na'vi are replaced by various muppets.
- Robin Williams replaces Sam Worthington as the parapeligic veteran Jake Skully.
Notes:
Rather than being set on the planet Pandora, the film is set in New York City, which has been built on top of rich and expansive veins of unobtanium. To infiltate the city and provide information on the location of unobtanium deposits, Jake Skully controls a muppet "avatar" of himself and adopts the alter ego "Wobin Rilliams." He meets Elmo, a native New Yorker who takes him to the Seasame Street clan. Elmo spends 26 minutes2 teaching Skully about making arts and crafts, accessing the local library, and traffic safety3. Despite entertaining Elmo, Skully appears disinterested throughout.
Despite this, when human forces attempt to bulldoze a sacred muppet bodega, Skully disables the bulldozer and drives away its crew. He realizes that he and Elmo have fallen in love, and swears to protect New York City from the human invaders. The humans, meanwhile, move to destroy the Hometree (Empire State Building). The hometree was built atop a large source of unobtanium and connects the mind of all New York life. Feeling that he's doomed the New Yorkers, Skully confesses to infiltrating Seasame Street and is placed in time-out.
Although it's implied that the human invaders destroy the Hometree and kill a large portion of the Seasame Street cast, all footage of this battle is replaced by a clip compilation of Tickle Me ElmosTM being burnt, shot, smashed, crushed, exploded, and dropped from high places. Humans, if present, remain largely out-of-frame. The clips range in duration, video resolution, and aspect ratio.
Skully discovers that Elmo survived the battle. The two of them reconnect, but Elmo no longer trusts Skully. To prove his allegiance to New Yorkers, Skully links his mind with a giant muppet rat in the subway system. Skully reunites the surviving clan members, urging them to get all the New Yorker clans together for a final confrontation. During this final battle, hundreds of muppet rats and pigeons fight back against the human invaders. The humans are expelled, and Skully chooses to stay in New York City with the muppets.
Notes:
The SCP-XXXX instance is a significant deviation from the original in both plot and tone, with no horror elements present and a much truncated runtime.
After filming an episode of Sesame Street with sections covering the legal system and practical jokes, Big Bird and his grandmother, Granny Bird, take a short vacation to a nearby bay. Whilst there, they encounter Gonzo and his assistant, Camilla the Chicken, practicing a circus act outside a school. Gonzo regales the observing crowd of penguins and chickens with details of the acts he will perform: being shot from a cannon, water-skiing across the bay whilst pulled by a flock of gulls, and an escapology act involving a chimney. A teacher, Sam the Eagle, watches disapproving from within the school.
Big Bird enters a telephone booth to phone his friends on Sesame Street and inform them of the good time he's having. Mid-conversation, Gonzo flies through the air and collides with the phone booth, his cannon act gone awry.
Notable Cast Differences:
- All foodstuffs present in the movie are replaced by muppet equivalents
Notes:
For the first portion of the film, Muppet foods have minor speaking roles and the plot progresses as expected. Major deviations begin to occur during the scene where, in the unmodified film, Elio has intercourse with a Peach. In the SCP-XXXX instance, Elio and the Peach instead have a conversation regarding the difference between lust, love, and longing. Elio discloses to the Peach the nature of his and Oliver's relationship. Elio states he could love someone even if the love was nonreciprocal. The Peach questions if such a person would be worthy of Elio's love.
Elio's relationship with Oliver grows complex, as the former begins to develop romantic feelings for the Peach. When his parents suggest Elio visits Bergamo, he opts to take the Peach instead of Oliver. At the conclusion of the Summer, Elio and the Peach say their goodbyes and spend the night together one final time.
The film ends with a coda incorporating elements of Find Me, the 2019 novel by Andre Aciman written as a sequel to the original book. Fifteen years after Elio's vacation to Italy, he is a successful concert pianist living in Paris but still pines after the Peach. After memories of the Peach return during a visit to the fresh produce aisle at a supermarket, Elio proceeds to date a variety of fruit, including an apple, pineapple, a cluster of grapes, a dragonfruit, and a can of tinned peaches. Elio leaves each date disappointed.
The Peach has become a successful food model, appearing in advertisements, cookbooks, and culinary magazines. The Peach begins to hallucinate Oliver's presence, mistaking other models for him at photoshoots.
The film ends with a chance encounter between Oliver and the Peach at Charles de Gaulle airport. Oliver having booked a flight to Italy to find the Peach, and the Peach having arrived to find Oliver.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Cookie Monster replaces Jon Favreau as Carl Casper
- Zoe replaces Scarlett Johansson as Molly
- Count von Count replaces Dustin Hoffman as Riva
- Grover replaces Robert Downey Jr. as Marvin
Notes:
Cookie Monster is head chef at a high-end restaurant on Sesame Street. He comes into conflict with the restaurant owner, Count von Count, due to only baking and serving cookies, regardless of patrons' orders. As the Count gives a numbered list of reasons why this is bad for business, he quits in frustration.
His friend Grover gifts him a food truck, and Cookie Monster proceeds to embark on a mission to devise and sell the perfect cookie. He is joined on this effort by Sofia Vergara, playing herself. Sofia and Cookie Monster have been dating since they met on the set of Sesame Street episode 4262.
Cookie Monster travels across Sesame Street baking a variety of different cookie flavours for its residents. At the film's denouement, Cookie Monster realises that, if made with love, all cookies are perfect, and there is no one right way to make a cookie. The film concludes with Cookie Monster and Sofia Vergara's marriage.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Mahna Mahna replaces Beyoncé Knowles as Deena Jones
- The Snowths replace Anika Noni Rose and Jennifer Hudson as Lorrell Robinson and Effie White
- All other characters remain played by their human actors
Notes:
All dialogue spoken by Mahna Mahna and the Snowths is replaced with their usual vocalisations ("mah na mah na" and "Do doo do do doo" respectively). The film's musical numbers take two forms:
Firstly, diegetic songs — those which make sense as songs in the context of the film, such as I Am Changing — are replaced entirely by the characters performing the song Mah Na Mah Na in its original composition.
Secondly, non-diegetic songs — such as And I Am telling You I'm Not Going — retain their original instrumentals but the lyrics are replaced by the aforementioned vocalisations.
When songs are performed by human actors, alongside Mahna Mahna and the Snowths, the human characters join in singing Mah Na Mah Na. Songs performed entirely by human actors are unchanged.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Gonzo replaces Ray Liotta as Henry Hill
- Sam the Eagle replaces Paul Cervino as Paul Cicero
- Rowlf the Dog replaces Robert De Niro as James 'Jimmy' Conway
- Kermit the Frog replaces Frank Vincent as Billy Bats
- Fozzy Bear replaces Michael Imperioi as Spider
- Various muppets replace background mobsters
Notes:
The movie remains a 1:1 telling of Goodfellas, including the material that caused the movie to be Rated R, such as:
- The movie opening on Gonzo, Rowlf the Dog, and Joe Pesci's Tommy DeVito stabbing a dying Kermit the Frog, who was in their trunk;
- Tommy DeVito shoots and kills Fozzy Bear;
- Various scenes of Gonzo consuming cocaine;
- A scene where Gonzo assaults his wife, Lorraine Bracco's Karen Hill;
- Rowlf the Dog committing a string of murders in the third act.
Film choreography between the original and the SCP-XXXX-affected film are disparate in scenes containing muppet-on-muppet violence.
Plague
Notable Cast Differences:
- Fozzy Bear replaces Kimiko Ikegami as Gorgeous / オシャレ / Oshare.
- Miss Piggy replaces Miki Jinbo as Kung Fu / クンフー / Kunfū.
- Abby Cadabby replaces Kumiko Oba as Fantasy / ファンタ / Fanta.
- Dr Bunsen Honeydew replaces Ai Matsubara as Prof / (ガリ / Gari.
- Cookie Monster replaces Mieko Sato as Mac / マック / Makku.
- Rowlf the Dog replaces Eriko Tanaka as Melody / メロディー / Merodī.
- Zoe replaces Masayo Miyako as Sweet / スウィート / Suu~īto.
- Gorgon Heap replaces Yōko Minamida as Auntie / おばちゃま / Obachyama.
- Big Bird and Kermit assume roles similar to Ryoko Ema / Keisuke Tōgō / father combined.
Notes:
The film is significantly modified, resembling a long, multi-scene sketch. The characters refer to each other by the names of the muppet actors, but each takes on exaggerated traits in line with the original film's characters. For instance, Rowlf the Dog's personality revolves entirely around his piano playing. The exception to this is Animal, who is referred to as Blanche and acts entirely as a cat throughout runtime.
At the conclusion of filming a season of their respective shows, the cast of the Muppets and Sesame Street and are invited by Gorgon Heap to his mansion in the country for a vacation. Kermit and Big Bird stay behind to help take down the sets, but the rest of the cast set off.
As they approach the mansion, they come across a fruit stand. The watermelons have been replaced by watermelon muppets. They proceed to sing a song conveying that the muppets are in danger. At the conclusion of the musical number, the watermelons look around and discover the main cast have already moved on and missed the entirety of the song.
Gorgon Heap warmly welcomes the muppets, but proceeds to devour them one by one as the film progresses. Examples of this include:
- A trail of cookies leads Cookie Monster to a well, from which Gorgon Heap emerges and consumes him.
- Gorgon Heap creeps up on Fozzy Bear as his practices comedy in the mirror — he is too focused on his craft to notice the imminent danger.
- Whilst Miss Piggy practices Kung Fu, Gorgon Heap descends from a light fixture to grab her.
- Gorgon Heap's pet cat, played by a cat muppet, incidentally turns on a faucet, resulting in the house flooding. Gorgon Heap and Honeydew engage in an underwater chase scene.
The following morning, Big Bird and Kermit arrive. Gorgon Heap offers them tea, and participates himself. Gorgon Heap has no more capacity in his stomach, and the tea causes him to vomit up all the eaten muppets unharmed.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Kermit the Frog replaces Robert de Niro as Neil McCauley
- Rowlf the Dog replaces Val Kilmer as Chris Shiherlis
- Gonzo replaces Michael Cheritto
- Pepe the Prawn replaces Danny Trejo as Gilbert Trejo
- Big Mean Carl replaces Kevin Gage as Waingro
- Miss Piggy replaces Ashley Judd as Charlene Shiherlis
- Cookie Monster replaces William Fichtner as Roger Van Zant
All other roles remain played by human actors.
Notes:
The film's plot — including violence, gore, and sexual content — is unaffected. Compared to other instances, deviations are minor, and manifest primarily through dialogue updates:
- Whenever Chris's (Rowlf) marriage troubles with Charlene (Miss Piggy) are discussed, numerous references are made per conversation to Chris being "in the dog house".
- The objective of the opening heist from the armored car is no longer bearer bonds, but "premium grade brown sugar cookie dough". Roger Van Zant's (Cookie Monster) dialogue is updated to match Cookie Monster's idiolect (for example, "Cookie Monster going to kill these sons of bitches"). When Neil (Kermit) arrives at his house in the denouement of the film, the furniture is entirely cookie-themed.
- The scene in the motel between Waingro (Big Mean Carl) and the prostitute concludes with the former eating the latter whole. In the scene where the prostitute's body is discovered, it is surrounded by half eaten food muppets.
- Neil meeting with his crew to discuss if they attempt one final bank robbery ends in a musical number. It's Not Really 'Bout The Green, performed to the tune of It's Not that Easy Being Green, involves the crew members singing about how the gain of material wealth is secondary to the exhilarating rush they receive from participating in heists.
- When Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) discusses Charlene (Miss Piggy) with Alan Marciano (Hank Azaria), Hanna's dialogue is modified to:
Marciano: Why'd I get mixed up with that bitch?
Hanna: Cause she's got a porky ass! And you've got your mouth all around that bacon sandwich!
Marciano: Jesus.
Hanna: When I think of asses, a pig's ass, something makes me mighty hungry.
- During the film's final scene, once the fight between Neil and Hanna has concluded, a baggage tractor drives across the runway behind them. On the back of the tractor is the muppet band Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. They proceed to play a cover of Moby's God Moving Over the Face of the Waters.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Miss Piggy replaces Susanne Wuest as Mother
- Andy Pig replaces Elias Schwarz as Elias
- Randy Pig replaces Lukas Schwarz as Lukas
Notes:
- Throughout the film, the pigs speak German in a perfect Austrian accent. Other actors within the film are replaced by muppets featured in SesameStraße. For example, the Red Cross workers are replaced by Sampson and Simson.
- The film retains fidelity to the original plot — two children believing their mother has been replaced by a imposter — but is much lighter in tone. The Mother’s attitude towards Andy and Randy is played for laughs, and is in line with Miss Piggy’s usual disposition.
- When the boys find old pictures of their mother, Miss Piggy appears as she did in the Muppets pilot The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence. Once her bandages are removed, she has taken on her modern appearance.
- The ending twist of the original film regarding Lukas is removed. Instead, Andy and Randy joke about turning Miss Piggy into bacon — but are eventually convinced by her that she is their mother.
- Upon Andy and Randy helping their Mother free herself from the floor, she begins to laugh and walks out of shot. The laughter grows deeper in tone, and Gorgon Heap runs into the frame, revealing himself as being in disguise as Miss Piggy throughout the film. The final scene is Gorgon Heap chasing Andy and Randy around the house.
Subject: Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Notable Cast Differences:
- Scooter replaces Christoph Waltz as Hanz Landa
- Miss Piggy replaces Mélanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfus
- Kermit the Frog replaces Daniel Brühl as Frederick Zoller
- Animal replaces Til Schweiger as Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz
- Fozzie Bear replaces Sgt. Donny Donowitz
Notes:
The movie…
- The movie…
Plague
Notes:
The film cold opens on Scooter wandering through the Muppet Theatre. Besides Scooter, no other muppet is present and the theatre appears to be in a state of disarray. The scene is a single shot lasting 12 minutes. Scooter thinks aloud, revealing that he has lost an important tool and is searching the theatre for it. The scene ends with Scooter discovering a "darkness" behind the main stage and entering it.
Upon entering the "darkness", the film proceeds to a series of non-sequitur scenes. Whilst there is little narrative connection between these scenes, it is believed they are thematically related:
- After each scene, Statler and Waldorf appear in their usual location on the theatre balcony and commence heckling. Their barbs are unrelated to the previous scene, nor any scene in the movie. As the film progresses, Statler and Waldorf become aware that the other's comments do not correspond to their own recollection of what has just occurred. During one scene, Statler asks Waldorf to describe what he just witnessed. Waldorf is unable to answer. Subsequent scenes featuring the two contain no dialogue.
- In a dilapidated apartment, Miss Piggy stands in front of a mirror practising speaking Polish. Whilst she initially struggles with pronunciation, her efforts improve over the course of the scene. Phrases spoken include "łopatka", "brzuch", "świnia", "kawałek mięsa", and "rzeźnik".
- * Sam the Eagle delivers a lecture on "lo-fi" filmography and the history of camcorders and digital video.
- The Electric Mayhem gather for a rehearsal. Janice coughs throughout the scene. Dr Teeth suggests a new song and hands sheet music out to the other members. A conversation regarding the song ensues: Zoot shares that he believes this song is a cover of another song he is familiar with, and proceeds to hand out another set of sheet music. Lips believes that this song is actually a cover of another song — this pattern repeats for several minutes, rotating through the band members. Eventually, Dr Teeth hands out sheet music he claims is the original song, a folk tune from medieval Europe. Before the song can be performed, Janice excuses herself as she is feeling unwell. As she leaves, it is revealed she has been stabbed in the back with a screwdriver.
- The Mutations practice a dance routine.
- The Ghost of Christmas Past sits on a city sidewalk at night, begging characters who walk past. These characters are human, but their faces are never seen. Each character asked for help proceeds to spit into a cup in front of the ghost. When the cup is full of saliva, the ghost drinks from it.
- Numerous rabbit muppets inside an apartment watch scenes from the film on a television set. In one scene, a rabbit asks "what is going on?". In response, another rabbit takes out a film script and reads it, before responding to the question with "can you not feel it?".
Towards the close of the film, we return to Scooter, who happens upon a digital camcorder. He picks it up and begins to film another Scooter muppet who has appeared ahead of him. This second Scooter wanders through the Muppet Theatre — the first Scooter filmed the opening scene of the film. Both Scooters enter the "darkness". The next scene features a single Scooter walking through a dimly lit hallway. He encounters Janice and recognises the screwdriver embedded in her back as his missing tool and removes it. This provides Janice with immediate relief, and Scooter turns back to exit the hallway. He emerges from the "darkness" and uses the screwdriver to fix a broken spotlight above the theatre stage. The light is switched on.
In his sole appearance in the film, Kermit the Frog appears and introduces Nina Simone as the musical guest. Simone walks on stage, her appearance identical to when she guest starred in the 1972 Sesame Street episode 350, and proceeds to perform the song "Sinnerman". Muppets seen throughout the film proceed to dance behind her, moving from one side of the stage to the other, then back again.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Kermit the Frog replaces Niall MacGinnis as Zeus
- Miss Piggy replaces Honor Blackman as Hera
- The Swedish Chef replaces Nancy Kovack as Medea
- Sam the Eagle replaces Douglas Wilmer as Pelias
- The Argonauts are composed entirely of muppets, including Gonzo, Fozzie Bear, Crazy Harry, Animal, and Rizzo the Rat.
Notes:
The tone and structure of the film in many ways resembles that of Muppet Treasure Island and The Muppet Christmas Carol, in that the film is a retelling of a well-known, pre-existing story, and centres on a human protagonist supported by a cast composed primarily of Muppets. No deaths occur, and the violence is toned down in comparison to the original film.
Jason, played by Todd Armstrong and dubbed by Tim Turner, embarks on a quest for the golden fleece with his crew of Argonauts. His encounters, and deviations from the original film, include:
- At the Isle of Bronze, a mural depicting Hephaestus, not present in the original film, is shown. The god resembles Dr Bunsen Honeydew. When Talos is disturbed, he resembles a gigantic, metal version of Beaker.
- The Harpies are yellow-feathered, resembling Big Bird.
- The faces of Statler and Waldorf appear on the Clashing Rocks. In addition to attempting to crush the argonaut's ship, they also heckle the heroes (for example, "Argonauts? More like All-For-Naut!"). When Triton appears he is played by Lew Zealand and throws fish at the rocks who respond with cries of pain.
- Medea cooks a ram stew to distract King Aeëtes and his men whilst Jason and the Argonauts escape imprisonment.
- The skeletons of the finale appear to be comprised of a feltlike material similar to the Muppets' physiology.
Notes:
The film begins with the character of Mr Miyagi being played by Miss Piggy, instead of by Pat Morita. Along with her costume, she wears an obviously fake goatee.
Halfway through training Daniel LaRusso, played by Ralph Macchio, Miss Piggy breaks character and begins to argue with the film's director. The director remains offscreen, but sounds similar to Scooter. Miss Piggy claims to be far too young to be considered appropriate for the role of Miyagi, and insists she be recast as LaRusso. Scooter objects as they have already captured a significant amount of footage, but Miss Piggy announces she is returning to her trailer. Throughout, Macchio is present in awkward silence.
The film cuts to black for several seconds. On resumption, Miss Piggy and Macchio have swapped roles, with the former now playing Daniella, previously Daniel, LaRusso, and the latter now playing Mr Miyagi (complete with fake goatee). Macchio's performance as Miyagi is far less convincing than his prior role; he is often caught looking off camera for direction.
Miss Piggy plays the role of LaRusso for the remainder of the film. At the film's denoument, the plot, faithful to the original until this point, diverges. In her first tournament first, Miss Piggy breaks character again and complains she was unaware she'd be hit back, and that she hadn't read this far forward in the script. She runs off the mat and out the room, and is promptly disqualified.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Fozzie Bear replaces Ryan Gosling.
- Miss Piggy replaces Emma Stone.
- Rather than playing the characters of Sebastian Wilder and Mia Dolan, all muppet characters are listed as playing themselves.
Notes:
Instead of meeting him while he plays jazz at a restaurant, Miss Piggy meets Fozzie Bear at Bert and Ernie's wedding. Fozzie is serving as the minister, but interrupts the ceremony by performing stand-up comedy. Miss Piggy attempts to compliment his jokes while he's reprimanded by his manager (JK Simmons), but he storms off. The film contains no musical numbers. Instead, at various points throughout the film, muppets who are otherwise unfeatured in the movie perform stand-up directly to the camera.
Miss Piggy and Fozzie meet again at a fair several months later. Fozzie Bear is working in the dunk tank, lamenting that no fairgoers have tried to actually dunk him. Miss Piggy buys nine throws, hitting each one of them while ranting about her inability to get cast as an actor.
Later in the film, instead of Sebastian taking Mia to a jazz club, Fozzie takes Piggy to a comedy show. The scene remains otherwise similar to the baseline film, with Fozzie explaining the comedian's jokes in detail to Piggy. Afterwards, he invites her to a screening of The Muppets Treasure Island.
The film ends with MIss Piggy attending a large comedy show with her now-boyfriend Kermit. Fozzie is on stage, performing a bit about whether muppets are cleaned with body soap or laundry detergent. While the crowd is laughing, Fozzy and Piggy lock eyes. He tells a joke from Bert and Ernie's wedding, and a montage plays showing how happy they could have been together. The two smile at each other. The audience is silent.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Bert replaces Willem Dafoe as Thomas Wake
- Ernie replaces Robert Pattinson as Efraim Winslow/Thomas Howard
Notes:
The film is still shot in black and white on 35mm, with a 1.19:1 aspect ratio. The tone of the SCP-XXXX-affected film is vaguely absurdist but remains lighthearted. The film features several vignettes, opening with Bert and Ernie sitting in their lodging and sharing a meal. Ernie mentions an ongoing storm, which Bert mocks as a "drizzle." Ernie mentions how he used to be scared of rain before revealing his rubber ducky and explaining that he's comforted by the toy. There's a cut to a silent wide shot as light from the lighthouse seeps in. Bert looks out the window, confused.
In another scene, the pair are fishing off of the island. Bert complains that they don't have good enough bait, which Ernie counters by saying the pair need to be more appealing to fish. Ernie then starts repeating "glub glub glub" to Bert's annoyance, until Ernie's line starts getting pulled. Ernie reels his catch as the light from the lighthouse sweeps the pair, immediately catching Bert's attention, who again appears confused and tries to get Ernie's attention. Ernie reels in a muppet mermaid, who immediately breaks into a song about the ocean. Bert stares at the lighthouse, then at the camera.
The final scene follows Ernie and Bert arguing about going into the lighthouse. Ernie is scared, but Bert says the pair have to be brave for the sake of the island. The pair enter the lighthouse. Bert appears visibly uncomfortable but remains headstrong and encourages the much more fearful Ernie to walk up the spiral staircase with him.
There's a cut. Ernie comments on how long they've been walking upstairs, emphasizing that they should be at the top by now. Bert responds with encouragement and dismissal before looking down and noting growing splotches of a black, sticky liquid that Ernie missed.
The pair reach the top, where Ernie refuses to open the door from the catwalk into the lantern room. Bert pushes forward and enters, whilst meek Ernie waits outside the room covering his eyes.
As Bert enters the room, the illumination at the top of the lighthouse is revealed to be Beaker, whose hair is on fire. Beaker runs in a circle around the lantern room panicked, whilst he is chased by Dr Honeydew holding a fire extinguisher. The camera cuts to Bert's face as he stares at the chaotic scene.
Honeydew attempts to extinguish the fire, but instead sprays Bert in the face with the extinguisher. Bert proceeds to fall down the lighthouse stairs in a slapstick fashion.
The credits roll over a final scene in which the Swedish Chef attempts to cook a Lobster muppet in the lighthouse's kitchen.
Plague & Dys
Notes:
The modified version bears little resemblance to the original movie, and instead opens with the Sesame Street theme song. The set design, and the presence of Zoe dates the episode to the early 1990s, earliest 1993.
On the street, Telly Monster has a new camcorder, which he excitedly tells the viewers before demonstrating it's functionality and talking about what he might film.
In the next scene, Big Bird and Zoe are practicing passing a football on a green space. They are joined by a celebrity guest who gives them tips and tricks on how to play — O.J. Simpson. At the conclusion of practice, Big Bird invites Simpson back to the street.
On their arrival, Telly Monster approaches filming with the camera. This elicits a furious reaction from Simpson who loudly shouts at Telly to turn it off. The scene hard cuts, static briefly plays, and the episode resumes on Big Bird, Zoe, and Simpson in the middle of the street. Telly is nowhere to be found.
At first appearing mildly confused, Big Bird recovers, welcomes Simpson to the street, and offers to show him his nest. The latter agrees. Hanging back, Zoe stares at an object on the floor out of shot. She leans down to pick it up, and retrieves Telly's camcorder. Slowly, she raises the camcorder to her face and looks through the viewfinder. Her expression changes, she starts to shake, and the shot quickly zooms in on her face.
The scene hard cuts, static briefly plays, and the final scene begins:
[Bird Bird and Simpson stand in front of a plain, muted yellow background. They both face the camera.]
Big Bird: We're going to talk about memory! Everyone has a memory, including you! Your memory is like a collection of photographs and videos inside your mind, and when you think about them, that's called "remembering". If someone asked you to go to the store to buy a loaf of bread, container of milk, and stick of butter, you'd do that by remembering what was asked of you! Sometimes you remember things for a short time, sometimes a long time, and sometimes forever.
Simpson: I like to remember things my own way.
Big Bird: Some of my favourite memories are leaving the nest for the first time, eating birdseed cake, and meeting my friend O.J. today!
[Big Bird turns to Simpson.]
Big Bird: What are your favourite memories?
Simpson: I like my memories how I remember them. Not necessarily the way they happened.
Big Bird: What do you like to remember, O.J.?
[Silence.]
Big Bird: What do you like to remember?
[Simpson smiles.]
[Hard cut. Static.]
[Simpson stands alone against the background. There is considerably greater distance between him and the camera. He begins to slowly walk forward, staring into the camera, unblinking. His pace quickens before erupting into a sprint. Close to the camera, he begins to scream. His mouth widens but no sound can be heard. Simpson continues to approach and appears about to collide with the camera, but instead the camera enters his open mouth and is swallowed whole.]
[Nothing can be seen but darkness.]
Notable Cast Differences:
- Sweetums replaces Josh Brolin as Thanos
Notes:
No other modifications noted.
Plague
Notable Cast Differences:
- Janice replaces Naomi Watts as Betty Elms
- Miss Piggy replaces Laura Harring as Rita
- Kermit replaces Justin Theroux as Adam Kesher
Notes:
The movie faithfully follows the overarching plot of the original, with anomalous variations most prevalent in the casting. For the first ##h##m of the film's run, the entirety of the cast, including backgrounds and extras, is composed entirely of muppets. The tone of this section of the film is in line with non-anomalous muppet properties. Notable scenes include:
- Cookie Monster replaces Angelo Badalamenti as mobster Luigi Castigliane. In the scene in which Castigliane tastes espresso, the espresso is replaced by cookies which the character greatly enjoys. Uncle Deadly replaces Michael J. Anderson as his villainous boss, Mr. Roque.
- The diner scene at Winkie's is replicated word for word. Ernie replaces Patrick Fischler as Dan, Bert replaces Michael Cooke as Herb, and Oscar the Grouch replaces Bonnie Aarons as the Bum. At the scene's conclusion, instead of collapsing, Ernie/Dan and Bert/Herb instead run away screaming.
- Betty's audition now takes place for The Muppet Show, and is overseen by Fozzie Bear, Scooter, Clifford, and Big Bird. Afterwards, Big Bird accompanies her to the set of, instead of the Sylvia North Story, Sesame Street.
- When Adam returns to his home, he discovers his wife and the pool cleaner playing "Marco Polo" in the pool and joins in. Pepe replaces Billy Ray Cyrus as the pool cleaner, Gene, and Abby Cadabby replaces Lori Heuring as Adam's wife, Lorraine.
- At Club Silencio, Rebekah del Rio is replaced by Rowlf the Dog, who plays piano instead of singing. Halfway through his performance, a stick is thrown from offstage left to offstage right, travelling over the piano. Rowlf chases the stick — the piano keeps playing without him.
Coinciding with the scene in which the blue box is entered, all characters revert to being played by human actors and the film proceeds as if it were a non-anomalous instance. There are three exceptions:
- In the scene in which Diane Selwyn meets Joe Messing, the hitman, at Winkie's, a waitress pours Diane coffee. During this shot only, the waitress's arm is replaced by an orange muppet's. The orange colour is consistent with Janice's skin tone.
- The Bum continues to be played by Oscar the Grouch.
- In the film's final scene, Stalter and Waldorf appear on the balcony in Club Silencio. Both their hair, including Statler's eyebrows and Waldorf's moustache, have been dyed blue. Waldorf proclaims "Silencio", to which Statler responds "I thought they'd never shut up!". The two burst into laughter.
Dys
Notable Cast Differences:
- Denise replaces Faye Dunaway as Diana Christensen
- Kermit the Frog replaces William Holden as Max Schumacher
- The Newsman replaces Peter Finch as Howard Beale
- Sam Eagle replaces Ned Beatty as Arthur Jensen
- Scooter replaces Robert Duvall as Frank Hackett
- Miss Piggy (in a ginger wig) replaces Beatrice Straight as Louise Schumacher
Notes:
- Instead of the Union Broadcasting System, the film follows the Muppet Broadcasting Network ("MBN").
- The Newsman hosts Muppet News Flash. In one broadcast, the breaking news announced is his own firing. He responds by delivering the following monologue:
I don’t have to tell you things are bad.
Every muppet knows things are bad. It’s a depression.
Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job, Dr Teeth sold his gold tooth, the Muppet Theatre went bust, hairdressers are using real poo instead of shampoo, rent is running wild on Sesame Street, and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there’s no end to it.
We know the air’s unfit to breathe because someone had beans for dinner and we know our food is unfit to eat because we've smelt the air, and we sit and watch our tee-vees while some local newscaster tells us today we had fifteen pies in the face and sixty-three muppets devoured by Big Mean Carl, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We all know things are bad. Worse than bad. They’re crazy. It’s like every thing’s going crazy. So we don’t go out any more. We sit against one backdrop, and slowly the world we live in gets smaller, the guest stars stop showing up, and all we ask is that Gorgon Heap doesn't come and eat us in our living room. Let me have my banjo and my feather boa and my circus equipment and my polka dot necktie, and I won’t say anything, as long as Tex Richman and his goons leave me along. Well, I’m not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad.
I don’t want you to riot. I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to write your puppeteer. Because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write. I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Muppet Monsters and the goblin king with his labyrinth. All I know is first you got to get mad. You’ve got to say: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more. I’m a muppet, goshdammit. My felt has value.” So I want you to get up now. I want you to get out of whatever sketch you're in and go to the window. Right now. I want you to go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell. I want you to yell: “I’m mad as heck and I’m not going to take this any more!”
- Whilst Kermit wishes to proceed with his firing, Denise revamps the Muppet News Flash as The Newsman News Hour. The shows features segments such as: "Mahna Mahna Corner", "What's Eating You? with The Singing Food", "Louis Kazagger's Wig Racing", and "Vox Muppuli".
- The subplot with the Ecumenical Liberation Army and The Mao Tse-Tung Hour, is removed. Instead, Denise enters into business with the Gorgs from Fraggle Rock. The Gorgs and the network produce a documentary / drama series entitled FRAGGLE FEAR, which portrays the Fraggles as violent, leftwing terrorists.
- When Kermit confesses his infidelity to his Miss Piggy, she begins to respond with the dialogue to which Beatrice Straight's Academy Award for Supporting Actress is often credited. Halfway through the speech, Miss Piggy breaks character and proceeds to repeatedly karate chop Kermit prior to throwing him out.
- The monologue originally delivered by Arthur Jensen echoes Sam Eagle's ideology. He rails against the silliness and low brow humour of both The Newsman's show and the network as a whole. In response, the Newsman changes his show to be that of a traditional news program, devoid of humour.
- At the film's conclusion, Denise and studio executives discuss arranging for the Gorgs to assassinate the Newsman due to the change in his show's format. Before this plan can be brought to fruition, the Newsman is instead assassinated live on air by an ensemble of Sesame Street characters, frustrated that he was still beating them in the ratings.
Dys
Notable Cast Differences:
- Alice Snuffleupagus replaces Lily-Rose Depp as Ellen Hutter
- Grover replaces Nicholas Hoult as Thomas Hutter
- Count von Count replaces Bill Skarsgård as Count Orlok
- Big Bird replaces Willem Dafoe as Albin Eberhart von Franz
- Oscar the Grouch replaces Simon McBurney as Herr Knock
Notes:
- Count Orlok accompanies his actions with counting aloud. For example "Two dead children! Ah ah ah!" / "Three hundred and twenty five plague rats! Ah ah ah!". The runtime of scenes is often elongated to account for this additional dialogue.
- Whilst violence remains, much of the sexual content has been excised from the SCP-XXXX instance of the film. At the finale, instead of allowing Orlok to feed on her, Ellen distracts him until sunrise by filling her bedroom with sand; Orlok is compelled to count the number of grains.
- Whilst sexual content has been removed, Count Orlok's nudity in the scene where Thomas disturbs him in his coffin remains. Orlok's genitals are the same purple colour as his felt and is approximately a meter longer than in the unmodified film. To maintain Foundation / Muppet relations, and due to the relative unimportance of the data, Count von Count has not been contacted to verify the accuracy of this depiction.
Tim Curry, playing the role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter, is replaced by a muppet identical to his likeness. No other modifications noted.
Notable Cast Differences:
The muppets appear as themselves, but take on roles representative of characters in the original film:
- Fozzie Bear replaces Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates
- Oscar the Grouch replaces Janet Leigh as Marion Crane
- Big Bird replaces Vera Miles as Lila Crane
- Sherlock Hemlock replaces Martin Balsam as Milton Arbogast
Notes:
- The movie opens on Sesame Street. Feeling despondent and unappreciated, Oscar the Grouch decides to leave the Street and travel west for a new life. A montage shows of Oscar travelling by closing the lid of his trash can and rolling it on its side. At one point, he comes to a fork in the road which is accompanied by a comically oversized culinary fork stuck into the ground.
- Oscar eventually arrives at the "Bear Motel" and, due to inclement weather, decides to rent a room so he can sleep in his trash can inside. He meets the motel's proprietor, Fozzie. During their initial conversation, Fozzie refers to "being in a trap". When questioned by Oscar on this, Fozzie raises his left leg, which is inside a bear trap prop. Fozzie explains that he dreams of leaving the motel to pursue his dreams in stand-up comedy but must stay at the hotel to look after his mother.
- Fozzie offers Oscar a tour of the room, which is accepted. The former points out the bed, the dresser, and finally the shower. As he sees the latter, Oscar screams. "The Murder", the iconic musical score from the original movie, begins to play, and the camera cuts rapidly between the shower and Oscar's face, zooming with each cut. The scene fades to black.
- Back at Sesame Street, the residents gather to discuss Oscar's disappearance. Big Bird and Slimey the Worm leave to locate him. Before he does, Big Bird informs the street's residents he's hired a professional to help.
- The help, Sherlock Hemlock, arrives at the Motel prior to Big Bird and spots a muppet's silhouette in the window of a house above the lot. Investigating the house, Hemlock lets himself in through an unlocked door and begins to ascend a staircase. His ascent is hampered when a bag of marbles empties and roll down the stairs, causing him to fall.
- Big Bird and Slimey arrive at the motel and likewise investigate the house. After searching the other floors, they descend into the basement where they find Oscar, Hemlock, and other muppets trapped by Fozzie as a captive audience for his comedy routines.
- Confronted by Big Bird, Fozzie apologises and releases his captives. The commotion has awoken Ma Bear, Fozzie's mother and the silhouette from the window, who assures Fozzie she can look after the motel on her own, and encourages him to pursue his dreams.
- The final scene is interrupted by the appearance of Dr Bunsen Honeydew (who has not yet appeared within the movie) who proceeds to deliver a monologue on how comedy is a mystery to psychology and modern science.
Notes:
The film begins as an exact replica of Sesame Street episode 5132, "Family Day"…
Notable Cast Differences:
- Gonzo replaces Tommy Wiseau as Johnny
- Camilla the Chicken replaces Juliette Danielle as Lisa
- Rizzo the Rat replaces Greg Sestero as Mark
- Robin replaces Philip Haldiman as Denny
- Dr Bunsen Honeydew replaces Kyle Vogt as Peter
- Agnes Stonewick replaces Carolyn Minnott as Claudette
- Rowlf the Dog as the Doggy
Tommy Wiseau appears as himself. All other characters are replaced by nameless muppets.
Notes:
Anomalous modifications differ from other experiments. Instead of a retelling of the original film, the retold film is instead screened as if it were part of an episode of The Muppet Show.
The film opens with The Muppet Show's opening sequence. The special guest star is introduced as Tommy Wiseau. Wiseau waves to the camera, surrounded by a gaggle of muppets. When the curtains open, a projector begins to play The Room against an auditorium screen.
The camera frequently switches between showing the modified version of The Room, and the view from inside the Muppet Theatre. Notable events of this instance include:
- The audience within the Theatre participate in many of the audience participation traditions associated with The Room, such as spoon throwing and call-outs.
- Whenever an instance of spoon throwing occurs, within the movie Gonzo breaks character, reaches down and picks up a spoon which he proceeds to hang on his nose for the duration of the scene.4
- As with all her other appearances, Camilla the Chicken speaks entirely in clucks.
- Whenever a sex scene occurs, the projector malfunctions, and Fozzie Bear runs onto the stage apologising for technical malfunctions. He proceeds to perform stand-up until the projector resumes working, much to the audience's chagrin.
- When a scene involving the passing of a football begins, Count von Count walks onto the stage. When the football is first passed, he will lead the audience in a chant of how many passes have been made within the scene.
- At the film's conclusion, Johnny commits suicide not with a handgun, but by lighting and climbing inside a circus cannon.
- Following the film's conclusion, all the characters, and Wiseau himself, appear on the stage to audience applause.
Dys
Notable Cast Differences:
- Rowlf the Dog replaces Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes
- Baskerville the Hound replaces Nigel Bruce as Doctor Watson
- Gorgon Heap replaces various
Notes:
SCP-XXXX instances are comic in tone and invariably shorter than their non-anomalous counterparts. All roles are played by muppets, but Rowlf, Baskerville, and Gorgon Heap are the only three to appear in all fourteen films.
In each film, Gorgon Heap plays the role of the primary antagonist. For example, in Voice of Terror (1942) he replaces Reginald Denny as Heinrich von Bork, and in The Scarlett Claw (1944), he replaces Gerald Hamer as Alistair Ramson.
Evoking Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Disappearing Clues, a sketch from episode 103 of The Muppet Show, Sherlock and Holmes’s investigations are hampered by Gorgon Heap eating evidence — including witnesses.
The final film in the series, Dressed to Kill (1946), is the shortest of the anomalous adaptations. Upon meeting Gorgon Heap’s character, Hilda Courtney, Holmes immediately accuses him of arranging the attempted burglary of the prior night and of planning to murder Julian Emery (played by Fozzie). When Gorgon Heap protests and asks for evidence of his guilt, Sherlock responds that he’s been the culprit in the other thirteen films of the series.
.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Abby Cadabby replaces Jessica Harper as Suzy Bannion
- Zoe replaces Stefania Casini as Sara Simms
- Rosita replaces Barbara Magnolfi as Olga Ivanova
- Rowlf the Dog replaces Flavio Bucci as Daniel
- Maggie Cadabby replaces Lela Svasta as Helena Markos
- Madame Blanc, Miss Tanner, and the rest of the school staff are played by Geri and the Atrics
Notes:
- The movie retains its tone and overall plot, featuring scenes of violence incongruous with typical Muppet media.
- Whenever a scene is monochromatic, characters will address the camera and introduce the relevant color to the viewer. This is accompanied by ominous commentary. For instance, when Suzy first arrives at the Tanz Akademie, she points to the building and states "Red. The Akademie is red. Red is the color of our insides coming outside". Scenes subject to these commentaries change between viewings.
- Daniel no longer has a guide dog. Instead, he bites his own throat out.
- Sara's death scene remains the same. As she crawls through the razor wire, she leaves a trail of blood, stuffing, and limbs. By the time of her death, just her head is attached to her torso. Upon her reanimation in the film's finale, her limbs have been crudely sown back on.
Sam the Eagle delivers a 152 minute lecture on the socioeconomic and political conditions in 1970s Berlin. On a television set situated a short distance behind him, the modified 1977 film plays on repeat.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Crazy Harry replaces Edwin Neal as the Hitchhiker
- George the Janitor replaces Jim Siedow as the Old Man
- The Swedish Chef replaces Gunnar Hansen as Leatherface
- Beaker replaces John Dugan as the Grandfather
Notes:
- A radio broadcast at the beginning of the film (presented by the Newsman) reports the robbery of several corpses from a Texas cemetery. The film shows the result of this larceny: the seemingly necrotized body of Waldorf, holding the similarly decomposed head of Statler, wired onto a sepulchral pillar. As the broadcast continues, the Newsman becomes more and more bewildered at increasingly extreme news events, including an outbreak of cholera in Fort Worth, a nuclear exchange between Dallas and Houston, and a massive solar flare specifically targeting Austin.
- After Crazy Harry-as-the-Hitchhiker offers to photograph the five leads (retaining their names and personalities from the non-anomalous version), the latter reluctantly agree, with one requesting that the photo be lit well. Harry exclaims "I'll light it up for ya!" and activates his camera, secretly a box of TNT. The leads, blackened by ash, sprint from the remains of the van to a nearby farmstead, leaving a sooty Harry cackling on the road.
- In the attic of the cannibals' house, alongside an aged Beaker, sits the rotten cadaver of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Beaker softly "meeps" as he sucks the blood from the finger of the last victim, Sally.
- Each time the Swedish Chef murders a lead character, a typical Swedish Chef sketch begins, depicting the culinary preparation of his victim, accompanied by a laugh track. Three such segments occur:
- "Texas Chili": The Swedish Chef grounds and browns the flesh of his victim before combining it with jalapeños, onions, and a spice mix. Several black beans try to jump into the pot, but the Swedish Chef thwarts most of these attempts, shouting "No beanies! No beanies!" until a swarm of beans knock him over.
- "Tex-Mex": Donning a sombrero, the Swedish Chef prepares the non-meat ingredients for fajitas. In the background, a cooler repeatedly tilts back and forth. One of the leads rushes into the room and opens the cooler, allowing the near-dead victim inside to almost escape. However, the Swedish Chef notices, and bashes both with a frying pan, to audience laughter.
- "Wheelchair Barbeque": The Swedish Chef sets up a propane smoker and dismembers his victim to make "smokey barb-of-the-coo". Not paying attention, he places several components from the victim's wheelchair into the smoker; the final meal rolls off on wheels, and the Swedish Chef runs after it.
- A sketch for "Kolaches" prematurely halts when Sally escapes.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Count Von Count replaces multiple actors
- Rowlf the Dog replaces multiple actors
Notes:
All Vampire characters — including Edward Cullen, the rest of the Cullen family, the Volturi, Bella Swan post-siring, and Renesmee — are portrayed by Count Von Count. The Count wears a different outfit for each character, but retains his signature monocle in all roles.
All shapeshifting characters — including Jacob Black, the Uley pack, and the Black pack — are portrayed by Rowlf the Dog. Across the franchise, all mentions of "werewolf" / "werewolves" are replaced by "wererowlf" / "wererowlves".
Notable Cast Differences:
The Watchmen:
Each member of the superhero team is replaced by a modified Muppet version:
- Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II is replaced by Gonzo as Nite Something. Trained by Nite Bird, Gonzo's ability to maintain his secret identity — despite him and Nite Something being the only two figures to share a species — is a running gag throughout the film.
- Malin Åkerman as Silk Spectre II is replaced by Miss Piggy as Ham Heroine. Unlike the Silk Spectre, the Ham Heroine has no links to the Minutemen. Her civilian identity is a secret from the rest of the team, and she has no romantic connection to any other superhero.
- Billy Crudup as Doctor Manhattan is replaced by Thog as Doctor Thoghattan. Thog retains his size and blue colour, but is completely devoid of fur, besides a small patch on his crotch. His musculature is reminiscence of the original character's design. Doctor Thoghattan does not speak, and his dialogue is provided via a dubbed voiceover. Analysis suggests the voice may belong to Jim Henderson, but results are inconclusive.
- Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach is replaced by Beaker as The Meeper. In his superhero guise, Beaker wears a white mask with "MEEP" written on the face in black ink. The mask wraps around his head but is open on top, allowing his orange hair to protrude. It is believed Beaker retains Rorschach's misanthropy and status as an antihero — due to his limited vocabulary, this is difficult to confirm.
- Matthew Goode as Ozymandias is replaced by The Swedish Chef as Adrian Vikström / The Swedish Chef. Following his career as a superhero, Adrian has founded a successful multinational conglomerate business which is primarily known for its food processing.
The Minutemen:
- Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian is replaced by Fozzie the Bear playing the same role.
- The rest of the team is composed of: Big Bird as Nite Bird, Maggie Cadabby as Illusion, Oscar the Grouch as The Trash Man, Prairie Dawn as Manifest Destiny, Grover as Super Grover, Ernie as Captain Duckie, Bert as Bottlecap, and Mr Snuffleupagus as The Annihilator.
Other:
- Sam the Eagle replaces Robert Wisden as Richard Nixon
- Rosita replaces Laura Mennell as Janey Slater
- Kermit the Frog appears as himself
Notes:
The SCP-XXXX instance follows the plot of the original Watchmen and retains the adult tone and much of the violent and sexual content. Anomalous modifications include:
- The film begins, as does the non-anomalous version, with the Comedian's death. As he falls in slow motion, Fozzy screams out "Wocka Wocka". Throughout the movie, the yellow smiley face motif is replaced by pink polka dots.
- Instead of maintaining a journal, Beaker logs the film's events via camcorder for a homemade documentary entitled "The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence".5
- At Fozzy's funeral, Beaker tracks down the lone mourner who is revealed as Count Von Count, formerly a supervillain operating under the alias Dracrimeula. The Count recalls Fozzie visiting him a few weeks before the latter's death. Later in the film, when the Count is found murdered, the method is exposure to garlic and staking.
- During Doctor Thoghattan's exile on Mars, he uses his omnipresence to watch the Ham Heroine go about her daily life. In addition to her crime fighting activities, Doctor Thoghattan observes her civilian life as Miss Piggy. In this, she is married to Kermit and they have three children who resemble Robin the Frog, and pigs Betina and Belinda. Amazed by the revelation that a pig and a frog could find romance with one another, let alone successfully procreate multiple times (which he dubs a "reproductive miracle"), Thoghattan rediscovers his passion for muppetkind and returns to Earth.
- In the denouement, the Swedish Chef is revealed as the mastermind behind the film's events. In scenes closer to the comic than the movie, it is revealed he has teleported a gigantic, monstrous creature — played by Pepé the King Prawn — to New York, killing millions. The epicentre of the impact is Sesame Street, resulting in the deaths of the entire cast.
- The Swedish Chef reveals that, in addition to uniting Earth's superpowers against an external threat, he also plans to solve world hunger through the harvesting of the creature's flesh. Documents detailing the plan reveal its title to be "Worldwide Organisation of Chaos to Kindle Agreement"; or, for short, Project WOCKA.
- Due to Beaker intending to reveal the Chef's plan to the world, he is killed by Thoghattan. Beaker's screams can be heard echoing faintly in the background of the movie for the rest of its runtime.
- The movie ends with the recording of "The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence" being delivered to the American Broadcasting Company ("ABC").
Notable Cast Differences:
- Prairie Dawn replaces Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin
- The goats are replaced by Clueless Morgan and La Cabra
- Taminella Grinderfall replaces Bathsheba Garnett as The Witch
Notes:
The replacement of Thomasin and The Witch by Prairie Dawn and Taminella does not impact the plot, which proceeds in accordance with the unmodified film.
Deviations primarily stem from scenes in the farm's exterior, where the family's goats have been replaced by two muppets, Clueless Morgan and La Cabra. Clueless Morgan, ostensibly taking on the role of Black Phillip, is able to speak and converses with Prairie Dawn. Across the film, Morgan tempts Prairie to join the witch's coven, through, for example, enthusiastically relaying how fun it would be to ride a broomstick or wondering aloud regarding how tasty it would be to eat a child's heart. These moments inject elements of humour into the film.
The family's other goat is La Cabra — a muppet who has only featured once in franchise media6, in a sketch where gameshow contestants had to scream louder than the goat. As in that appearance, in the modified movie La Cabra screams loudly. Extra scenes are added showing the family members struggling to sleep at night due to the noise.
At the film's conclusion, Thomasin enters the goat house calling for Clueless Morgan to speak to her. Inside the house she finds Morgan eviscerated, foam, wool, and blood strewn over all surfaces. Offscreen, La Cabra begins to scream. As Prairie's ears bleed, the screaming turns to words, and the film concludes in line with the original ending.
Notes:
The 2005 Muppet adaptation, The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, is played in its entirety with no anomalous modifications. At the film’s conclusion the entire cast turn to the camera and ask “well, what did you expect was going to happen?”.
Notable Cast Differences:
- All characters are portrayed by Animal
Notes:
Animal portrays each and every role within the film, including the entirety of the main cast, supporting cast, and extras. In playing Andrew Neiman (Miles Teller in the original film), Animal's appearance is unaffected. For other roles, his appearance varies slightly. For instance, in his Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons) iteration a bald cap has been placed atop his scalp. For Jim Neiman (Paul Resier), the tips of his red fur has been dyed grey, and for Nicole (Melissa Benoist) his fur has been tied back in a ponytail.
All musical instruments within the film are now drums, and society as a whole appears to be structured around reverence to the instrument. School curriculums are composed entirely of drumming lessons, cars are driven by drumming, and in the bar scene, drinks are served in rack tom shaped glasses with a miniature drumstick garnish.
At the conclusion of the film, Andrew's drumming results in Terence abandoning conducting and playing the drums alongside the ensemble. The closing scene is a cacophony musical number composed entirely of drums, which lasted 8 hours 47 minutes before testing was aborted.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Scooter replaces Jake Gyllenhaal as Robert Graysmith
- Gonzo replaces Robert Downey Jr. as Paul Avery
- Rowlf replaces Mark Ruffalo as David Tosci
- Lyle the Dog replaces Anthony Edwards as Bill Armstrong
- Sam the Eagle replaces Brian Cox as Melvin Belli
Notes:
- In each scene depicting the murder of a Zodiac victim, a different Muppet plays the Zodiac Killer. These include, in order, Rizzo the Rat, Thog, Lew Zealand (who, in lieu of a gun, employs a boomerang fish), and the Swedish Chef (who threatens to throw his passenger's baby out of a car window, though his gibberish vernacular renders his warning incomprehensible to the passenger).
- Due to the Muppet's canonical age, Scooter-as-Robert-Graysmith has not been divorced and does not marry and subsequently divorce from Chloë Sevigny's character. Instead, Scooter lives with his sister, Skeeter, who increasingly teases Scooter over his obsession with the Zodiac Killer.
- The showing of Don Siegel's Dirty Harry (1971) has been replaced with the SCP-XXXX-variant, replacing Clint Eastwood with Crazy Harry as Harry Callahan.
- Near the end of the film, Scooter follows an anonymous tip to visit Kermit the Frog, who worked at a burlesque theater with Fozzie Bear, a potential Zodiac suspect. Scooter notes that Fozzie's handwritten jokes closely match the Zodiac Killer's; Kermit clarifies that he, not Fozzie, wrote those jokes. When Kermit and Scooter venture down into the basement to find the original copies of Fozzie's jokes, Scooter hears a faint "Wocka Wocka!" from upstairs, spurring him to sprint out of the house.
- John Carroll Lynch plays the only human role as Arthur Leigh Allen.
Notable Cast Differences:
- Kermit replaces Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones
- All Nazi characters are replaced by crude sock puppets
Notes:
- The boulder that chases Jones as he is escaping the Peruvian temple is now an amalgamate of multiple indistinct Muppet bodies.
- When Arnold Toht attempts to grab the headpiece to the staff of Ra, he does so with his mouth. Instead of burning his hand, the entire sockpuppet catches fire and is thrown into the snow. A moderately singed human hand can be seen for three frames as Toht is discarded.
- In the "Gun VS Sword" scene of the film, the swordsman is replaced by Gonzo and his sowrd is made of aluminum foil. Jones' gun only shoots out a small piece of felt, leading to an extended fight between the two Muppets. Due to the PG rating, the fight consists largely of spinning and slapping.
- The Ark's design has changed significantly, looking instead like a closet door attached to a wooden box.
- The German U-boat that chases Jones and Marion is instead a human being that has been poorly edited into the film. The German soldiers standing on top of it are the human's fingers, each of which are covered by lightly painted glove fingers.
- When the Ark is opened, the inside is revealed to contain water pipes covered in drawings of cartoonish faces. These pipes fly out of the Ark and, instead of melting the Nazi sockpuppets, crush them.
- As the Ark is transported in the warehouse at the end of the film, all of the boxes can be seen to be labeled "Jim Henson's Creature Shop".
Notable Cast Differences:
- All human characters are replaced with Muppet versions of themselves in similar roles
- Almost all Muppet characters are replaced with their puppeteers, with the exception of Gonzo
- All members of Gonzo's species, save for Gonzo himself, are replaced with Muppet Xenomorphs from the film Alien (1979)
Notes:
The film plays out largely similar to baseline, with the exception of scenes involving Muppet puppeteers taking longer due to the actors, who often play multiple Muppets and provide the voice the characters, running between positions and changing makeup/costume to act different parts. For example, all scenes with Steve Whitmire as both Kermit the Frog and Rizzo the Rat; two central characters, are extended by upwards of up to ten minutes each due to this. The Xenomorphs present in the film do not behave like members of the species would in their original intellectual property.
Notably, this change was only observed following the December 2017 Disney buyout of 20th Century Fox.
- nico
Out of Article — Ideas / Notes:
Marriage Story
Big Bird in Birdman?
Saw
Brokeback Mountain with Bert and Ernie? Too on the nose?
Swedish Chef in the Menu?
Mommy Dearest featuring Mean Mama
Something with a ton of gore and violence which is unexpected?
Blair Witch Project? Some other found footage film?
VVitch: La Cabra + Clueless Morgan?
Niche / not yet written characters:
Johnny Fiama
Wayne and Wanda
Annie Sue
Alistair Cookie
Muppet Babies?
Seymour
Pamela Hamderson
Meryl Sheep
Fletcher Bird
Clive Cahuenga / Gary Cahuenga
Gladys the dinner lady
80s Robot
Luncheon Counter Monster
Geri and the Atrics / Bobby Benson's Baby Band
J.P.Grosse
Fleet Scribbler
Dr phil Van Neuter
Mulch & Composta Heap
Miss Mousey
Joe the Legal Weasel
Notable Cast Differences:
- X replaces Y as Z
Notes:
[Have fun]
Notable Cast Differences:
- All cast members, including animals, are replaced with muppets. The Research Station staff are composed of Sam the Eagle, Scooter, Gonzo, Kermit, Dr Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Animal, and Miss Piggy.
Notes:
The film begins with Rowlf the Dog being chased across the Antarctic by the Swedish Chef. The Swedish Chef shoots at Rowlf, who approaches Sam Eagle outside the Research Station. Sam, unable to understand what the Chef is saying, shoots back, killing him.
Sam takes Rowlf in, placing him in a kennel with other dog muppets. Rowlf says "I think you're going to regret this" in Swedish — Sam cannot understand what he's saying. Meanwhile, Gonzo and Kermit explore the Swedish Chef's base. They find a tattered, frozen sock, which they bring back to their own base. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew analyzes the sock, determining that it has glue residue from googly eyes. The doctor states this was a living creature with biological features shared with common muppets.
Rowlf, now alone with the other dogs, begins to shake. His body tears open: foam, stuffing, and human hands emerge and the hands grab the other dogs. The other muppets in the station hear the dogs crying for help and run to the kennel. Gonzo incinerates the Rowlf-Thing with a flamethrower. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew studies the remains of the Rowlf-Thing. He realizes it is a muppet secretly being controlled by an internal parasite taking the form of a human hand.
As the sock thaws, it begins assimilating Beaker. Before Beaker is fully assimilated, they are caught by Animal and incinerated by Gonzo. Dr. Bunsen sabotages the station's vehicles and radio to prevent escape. The crew imprison him in retaliation.
Unsure of who has and hasn't been assimilated, Sam Eagle suggests testing the crew's blood samples with heated wire. Morale drops when Kermit reminds Sam that none of them have any blood. Gonzo takes the lead, suggesting that each muppet is hit instead, hypothesising that the parasite will try to avoid harm.
The muppets form a line in the common room. Miss Piggy proceeds to make her way down the line, karate chopping each muppet. Miss Piggy karate chops Gonzo, Animal, and is about to hit Kermit when he objects, asking how they'll find out if Miss Piggy is assimilated. Miss Piggy objects to being hit on account of being the only female muppet, stating that the other muppets have to trust her. Kermit objects and ducks when Miss Piggy attempts to hit him — she instead hits Scooter in the face, triggering him to transform. Two hands emerging from the Scooter-Thing and proceed to strangle Kermit. Gonzo incinerates both of them.
Sam Eagle is left to guard the facility while Gonzo, Miss Piggy, and Animal go to whack Dr. Bunsen with a stick to test him. Dr. Bunsen is missing, but the remains of a small flying device (in the shape of a briefcase) remains. The crew destroys the briefcase.
Back at the station, the generator has been destroyed and Sam is missing. The crew move to destroy the facility by pressing a large red self-destruct button, but are ambushed by an amalgamated Sam Eagle-Bunsen-Thing. Animal is killed and Miss Piggy disappears in the chaos. As Gonzo and Eagle-Bunsen-Thing fight, the latter floats into the air, being raised by a human arm visible below it. The Thing destroys the Self-Destruct button, but Gonzo connects two of the exposed wires of the button, and the entire set begins to shake. Gonzo flees as The Thing is covered by a falling tarp.
Outside the ruined facility, Gonzo reunites with Miss Piggy. The two of them, exhausted, share a chocolate-chip cookie as the facility burns.
Notable Cast Differences:
The cast is an amalgamation of human and muppet actors. Muppet replacements include:
- Scooter replaces Martin Sheen as Benjamin L. Willard
- Fozzie Bear replaces Robert Duvall as William "Bill" Kilgore
- Miss Piggy replaces Marlon Brando as Walter Kurtz
- Background American troops are played by a mix of human and muppet actors.
- Background Viet-Cong are played by a mix of human and Fraggle actors.
Kermit The Frog is credited as the director.
Notes:
The film follows the plot and the tone of the original. Scenes include:
- Scooter experiencing a drunken breakdown in his hotel room.
- Instead of "The Ride of The Valkyries", Fozzie Bear plays a recording of his stand-up as the helicopter descends on a Vietnamese Village.
- The Playboy bunnies are played by muppet bunnies.
- Most significant deviations revolve around Miss Piggy's character. Now Waltina Kurtz, the character has affixed a wild boar's tusks to her face to symbolise her surrender to the Jungle. At the film's climax, Scooter tears one tusk off Miss Piggy's face and uses it to kill her.
Notes:
The film opens with an interview of Kermit, the director of the SCP-XXXX instance of "Apocalypse Now":
Kermit: We were in the jungle, there were too many of us, we had access to too much money, too much equipment, and little by little we went insane…
[Offscreen Unknown]: You think you went insane?
[The camera pans to Statler and Waldorf.]
Statler: We were the ones that had to watch the movie!
[The two laugh.]
Kermit: Will you two cut it out!? I'm being interviewed for the documentary!
The film proceeds to chronicle the beleaguered production of the SCP-XXXX instance of "Apocalypse Now". Scenes include:
- Crazy Harry detonating production's entire supply of explosives on day one.
- Kermit the Frog requesting an evidently high Dennis Hopper learns his lines.
- Miss Piggy refusing to leave her trailer due to having an allergic reaction to the glue used to affix the boar tusks to her face.
- An interview with Laurence Fishburne in which the actor decries the lack of professionalism on set. The interview is cut short when he is hit in the face by a fish thrown by Lew Zealand.
A growing source of tension on set is Fozzie Bear's apparent inability to learn his lines. The following scene is composed of rough cuts of rejected footage:
[Scene opens on the shoreline. Smoke billows in the background from a recent Napalm strike. Fozzie is the only muppet in frame. He walks up to Lance Johnson, played by Sam Bottoms, who looks up at Fozzie expectedly.]
Fozzie: Good Morning Vietnam!
Kermit [Off-screen] : Fozzie! Cut!
[The film footage cuts to another take.]
Fozzie: Get to the chopper!
[The film footage cuts to another take.]
Fozzie: To Infinity and Beyond!
[The film footage cuts to another take.]
Fozzie: Life is like a box of chocolates.
[The film footage cuts to another take.]
Fozzie: Freeeeeeeeeedom!
[The film footage cuts to another take.]
Fozzie: Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the- oh sorry everyone, I've done it again haven't I?
Kermit [Off-screen] : Goshdarnnit Fozzie that was the line!
The film ends focusing on Miss Piggy. As a result of the ongoing allergic reaction to her costume she has become delirious and begun referring to herself as "Miss Hoggy" refusing to let the crew remove the tusks. Kermit proceeds to whip the muppets into shape so they can finish filming and get Miss Piggy out of costume and character.
The final scene filmed is Miss Piggy delivering the "Horror" monologue from the original Apocalypse Now. The monologue is delivered verbatim, except for one line: "you have no right to call moi a murderer". The documentary captures the crew's unnerved response to her performance. After Kermit yells cut, he turns to face the documentary camera directly and admits none of what Miss Piggy said was in the script — she invented it on the spot in a delirious fever. He proceeds to tell the crew to get Piggy out of costume as quickly as possible.
(Would be appreciated if, for now, we could avoid other Dickensian media and Star Wars / Trek, and Alien)